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Writer's pictureNichol Altman

Growning Pains


Picture taken by Brandy Cunningham Photography

Your progression on your path is going to make some people feel uncomfortable and no matter how loving, kind, full of life, or a bright light you are....there will be others who will not support you or your growth. These may even be people you call friend, family, or even those who you may have helped along the way. This happens in different ways or on different scales, but always ties back to one thing.....some people feel internally uncomfortable when you outgrow them or are moving into new waters.

I don’t say this or write this to stop you in your tracks when making moves and shifting on your path. I’m spitting truth, babes. How do I know this? Well, I have been the one who has made progress on my path and had people act hateful, rude, distant, or even say mean things for no reason AND I have been that person who got uncomfortable when I would see others progressing while I sat complacently (via my perception) on my path. I have been on BOTH ends of the spectrum. I've been on both sides...I've felt both sides...and I understand both sides. I get it....I really do.

When we really allow ourselves to sit with that feeling of being "uncomfortable when others grow" we begin to understand the “root” of where it stems from. It’s from FEAR, babes. Fear that we are not enough. Fear that we are not worthy. Fear that we are getting left behind. Fear that there will not be enough left for us. Fear that we are not doing enough. Fear that we do not know enough. Fear....fear.....fear. (Guess what? Fear is a sneaky little thing and is a really good, fucking liar). But what I want you to sit back and think on for a minute is this.....WHO is truly benefiting from your feelings that come from anything other than love when you see someone growing and you judge them? (maybe you roll your eyes at them...maybe you talk about them....maybe you stop supporting them abruptly..) I will tell you the answer...NO ONE!

When we get really honest, breakdown our inner issue, become aware, and ask, “Okay, what is really going on here? Why does this bother me? Please help me see this with a new perspective.”....We begin to realize that it rarely ever, ever has to do with that person or what they are doing. It’s rather more to do with how we feel about ourselves internally and about what we aren’t or are doing. We slip into comparison mode and then those “lack of feelings” start to creep in.

These moments that trigger you can be really insightful and help you to see what you desire MORE of in your life. Let those people or moments act as “mirrors” to help you gain clarity about what you want to call more of into your life. Don’t let it make you bitter, angry, or resentful. Feel it. Ask where it stems from. Acknowledge it. Process it. Integrate the wisdom. And then....adjust accordingly. Those moments are super insightful if you get really aware of your inner realm. So much healing wisdom lies within if you allow yourself to be inquisitive with what you are feeling and get to the WHY of it all.

Let those who are making moves, doing things you want to be doing, inspiring others with their words, speaking truth into the world, creating beautiful things, stepping outta “the box” and walking to the beat of their own drum, and reclaiming their most authentic selves INSPIRE you. Fanning the flames of another will never dim a light that burns brightly from within. If you want to be supported and cheered on in life by others......then you need to show up for others the same way you wish for others to show up for you.


Imagine this: You are walking around and experiencing your day, you are surrounded by (metaphorical) mirrors and whatever energy/actions/words you put out into the Universe will automatically be bounced back to you as you send them out......how does that image make you feel? Do you feel good about the energy you're outputting? Do you want more of what you are putting out? Does it feel good? Are you acting/speaking/living from a space of love? This is a really great exercise to do with yourself to check in and gain clarity.

Life is NOT a competition. There IS enough to go around. Empower others. Support them. Send them love . Lift up them up.

Like my kids say, “be a bucket filler NOT a bucket dipper!” 📷ReplyForward

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